A Dog's Life

If I am currently looking after your dog, please stop reading now.

Ok, I think it’s safe to proceed. I am currently looking after a dog. I love him and he loves me, let’s get that out there first. I am nice to the dog. I chat to him all of the time, like a human. But….. 7 days into looking after this animal I have just had a serious conversation with myself where I was trying to decide whether I hate pet sitting more or less than going to the dentist. Less. Ok, so what do I really hate doing that I would rather be doing than looking after a dog? Having my lady parts poked at (in a medical sense of course!!) I would rather be doing that than looking after this cute, gorgeous dog, who is my most favourite dog in the world. I think I only know about three dogs, but still.

I’m sure I’m about to lose friends, and possibly be exiled from LA for this, but here we go…..I just don’t get it. I don’t get why it’s a thing that people want to do. At least if you have kids you can cuddle them without having to wash your hands afterwards (hopefully).

This dog is so easy too, he doesn’t jump up on me, he sleeps most of the day, he also sleeps through the night, so I am trying to figure out what my problem is. 

I JUST DON’T LIKE IT. 

I don’t like that the first thing I have to do when I get up is feed him and then walk him. I’d like to tell you it’s good exercise but he’s old and can’t walk very fast, so it’s kind of like walking on the spot. And because he’s old, his back legs aren’t strong so he can’t stay still for long enough to do his business in the one place. He stumbles off while he is doing it, and he lives on a hill, so mostly I am outside, walking on the spot for twenty minutes waiting for him to do it, then chasing it down the hill when he does. The other night he did it in his bed and I actually thought, ‘Oh well, at least that will cut the walk down by half and I won’t have to chase poo down a hill this morning.’ I also have to carry him down the stairs. I have never carried a dog anywhere before. Now I understand why the people here talk about what their dogs weigh. 

He also hates ‘Love Island’, he’s American, so he probably doesn’t get the banter. Let’s hope his owner does!