A Question That Sometimes Drives Me Hazy:

So I was back in the UK for a week to celebrate my birthday and it's so hard explaining to people the differences between there and here and examples of the absolute craziness that is LA. Day to day, hour by hour, minute by minute crazy.

The biggest change home brought was a refurbished Tesco's on Allerton Rd and how crazy white and bright the new lighting was in there. Everything else was pretty much the same as far as I could tell, oh maybe the bus fare had gone up by 10p. But is that just because it's only six weeks since I left? Is it because it's what I've known my whole life and if you were to send someone from LA around for a day they might be doing their own blog about how crazy it all is? Or maybe my levels of what is actually crazy have changed and it takes a lot to top the day to day of here.

Remember a few blogs ago when scary was the new normal? Not now. Now crazy is the new normal.

I land at LAX on a direct flight. Usually I go through immigration somewhere on the East Coast and am grilled about my reasons for visiting the country etc etc. Not at LAX. This guy wished me a Happy Birthday and asked for my autograph! I actually had to sign an autograph and explain why it didn't match the name on my passport. Oh and I've ruined TV Court Shows for his poor nan who is going to be amazed that they aren't all real (join the club love!)

The funny thing is when I first arrived I was the person buying a bottle of coke and a snickers for a probable homeless man outside CVS. I say probable because by the time I went in to buy it and came back out we think someone different was sat outside and the Scot is convinced I gave them to the wrong person. Someone who wasn't homeless at all but said thanks because they thought I was crazy. This is LA after all. I also gave a man relationship counselling at a bus stop when he was crying because his girlfriend didn't love him any more. So polite. So English.

I spent a week in England and it felt all familiar and cosy and I didn't think I had changed. Then I came back!

The good thing is I know that God and Jesus definitely love me. I was told that a lot on the first day back. Smile, say thank you and move down the bus. Do not be your usual chatty English self. 

In the last two days I've seen more body parts of strangers than I ever have seen builders bums in England. I've seen a man dressed as Aladdin with a pair of swimming goggles over his turban. There was a woman on the train letting a dog (a stranger's dog at that!) do things to her that are bordering on illegal in most countries (bear in mind I wouldn't even let the dog we were minding eat our turkey bacon!) Oh and there was the man on a bike riding down Hollywood Boulevard carrying a goldfish in a bowl. 

All in a day's work. 

Then a man at a bus stop asked if he could share my water. He was probably homeless. He definitely needed the water more than me. I said no. I didn't even give him the bottle. I said 'No, sorry I need it' 

Maybe God and Jesus loved me a little less after that.