The new thing in the world of acting seems to be casting ‘real people’ instead of actors who can just as convincingly play the part. Whilst I like to think I am both a real person and an actor I’ve actually lost out on two auditions in the last couple of weeks for not being part of a couple. The first one was for a ‘soccer’ commercial where the casting director had emailed me asking me to submit a video audition because I’d auditioned for them before (in the previous one I'd said I wouldn’t pretend to be a Man Utd fan for all of the money in the world, it turns out that’s what they were looking for!) I ignored the email because they were looking for millennial couple, football fans. The couples had to tell embarrassing stories about each other and talk about their pre-match rituals. I could maybe pass as a millennial on a very good day but I knew it was a stretch asking the Scot to pretend to like football as well as say he was my other half (I’m not sure what he would find more difficult!) The casting director then text me to ask why I hadn’t submitted so I found myself sending a reply that said ‘I’m really sorry but I don’t have a significant other’
For some reason when I saw a breakdown for a real couple in a Google Home ad a few days later I thought it would be a good idea to submit me and the Scot. It was paying over $4000, it was a Google commercial, how bad could the couple stuff be? I wish this was the story that would make you laugh with all of the cringey coupley stuff we had to do at the audition and then in the commercial itself but sadly not. Yes we got an audition but the Scot politely declined the offer of pretending to be my significant other. He said he would do it as a 'massive favour' to me but when he text to say ‘I’d really love it if I didn’t have to do this today’ I felt like I couldn’t beg him any more!
Maybe this could be an opening line on a new dating profile. I haven’t moved on that far from the ‘happy ending’ of 2015’s blog post so maybe I could try ‘want to earn money by pretending to be my significant other’ Hmmm I think there’s probably already a different kind of website for that though so maybe not!
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