Lizards, Coyotes and Cats! Oh My!

I really like where we live now. This is the fifth place we've lived since we've been here and I really like it. It's an oasis of calm, an escape from the crazy city of LA. In the last place we lived (if you looked at the 'right' time) the view was of the ladies of the night. Yesterday I sat out with a book and watched a deer running down the hill behind Chris Pratt's house. Deers are fine (from a distance) lizards are not. There is one in my bedroom. Right now. I think it's moved in. I'm home alone. During the fifteen minute Mexican standoff I text the Scot - 'Can you talk? SOS' He called me back. An hour and a half later. During that time I thought he probably wouldn't be very good at helping anyway, I've seen him with insects and he's a wuss. However, apparently growing up in the Cayman Islands makes you an expert in dealing with lizards - 'Just deal with it, otherwise we will lose it and it will become a house lizard and we will never know where it is! I thought it was a real emergency!' An hour and a half!!

I don't know how to deal with it. I've asked it to leave. I've even opened the balcony door in the hope that it will. I thought about putting the cat in there but then I'd have to close the balcony door or the cat would escape and be eaten by coyotes! If I close the balcony door the cat will eat the lizard! Something will have to die so I don't have to live with a lizard. I thought the cat had already eaten a lizard when I saw her before, the Scot tells me that was fur balls (it didn't remotely resemble a ball once she was done!) This is the day I'm having. If I leave that balcony door open for much longer my room will be like the LA Zoo. Or a miniature Jurassic Park. Ooh I'm off to knock for Chris Pratt. He'll know what to do.