*Warning, this is long, but what else do you have to do right now?
I’m sure you’re all longing to hear about how I am coping with isolation and being so far away from everyone. This isn’t a suggestion, you’ll soon see why, but the quick answer is drugs! Yep! I thought I would take advantage of my lockdown and visit a cannabis shop (I’m still not really sure what to call it), try out their offerings, and report back to you all here.
Firstly, before you start to panic and try to send help, know that you can’t. No one is allowed to go anywhere, remember. Even if you call the Scot, the best he can do is shout at me through my door or window. Secondly, know that my mum isn’t worried. In her words, ‘It doesn’t suit her personality.’ I think she’s struggling to see a world where I enjoy being able to sit back, chill and do nothing even in a pandemic (especially in a pandemic?)
A bit of background to this. I’ve been doing the Whole30. I’m now on day 50! I’m worried if I stop, then the road paved with wine and creme eggs will be too hard to leave right now. I mentioned this on a video chat with my acting class, and someone suggested weed. His words were, ‘Forget the wine, weed doesn’t give you a hangover.’ So, I texted my friend Julie and asked her if she would like to walk six feet behind me or six feet in front of me to our local weed shop (apparently allowed to remain open as a necessity in California!)
I don’t actually want to smoke weed, I feel like learning to build a spliff at this point in my life is a bit too much. The problem with edibles, though, is that they aren’t Whole30 approved: sugar, corn syrup, dairy, soy oh, and er cannabis. Anyway, I decided I should probably try the cannabis-infused tea as the rest of the ingredients are Whole30 approved. It also seemed very apt for this Brit’s first outing to such an establishment, but they had sold out. I ended up at the bargain table where everything was 50% off and got myself some drops, which I thought I could probably just add to my Tetley’s. What they don’t warn you about is that you pay the 50% you think you’re saving in tax. There is even a ‘local cannabis tax.’ It wasn’t cheap!
The first night I tried it I didn’t really feel anything, I added it to my sparkling water (rock and roll) and waited. I finally gave up and went to bed, and I think I started to feel something just as I fell asleep. The next night I felt far too much, probably because I got bored waiting, so I kept adding more. The third night (God loves a trier!) was somewhere between the two, but it’s definitely not the same as that first sip of wine, and I think my mum is right (she usually is).
So that’s it. I’m not sure what this quarantine has in store for me next. Today’s highlight was walking to the laundry room, so be prepared for something equally as exciting!
