Firstly, I can't believe I am writing about improvising with goats, or doing anything with goats for that matter, but here we are!
The idea behind this was that I wanted to experience something very LA and my friend (I'm going to call her Julie) suggested Goat Yoga. I googled it and I found out that not only is it a thing but that there are all sorts of goat related experiences here. I picked the Goat Improv. I'm not sure why. I don't really like improv. Or goats. I also hate it when people tell me I'm going to have fun, well at least forced fun with strangers. And I've never had fun with an animal. Fact.
On my way there I was trying to figure out why I don't really like animals. At first, I was thinking that it's because they don't talk and so I don't trust them, then I reminded myself that my niece couldn't talk for about a year and I trusted her.
It's also surprising how many people have a goat story. Of course, the Scot used to hang around with goats when he was a child, and it turns out a lot of people prefer them to people. When I saw the release and waiver of liability we had to sign I couldn't figure out why! It basically meant I couldn't sue them (the people running the class, not the goats, although anything is possible here!) for behaviour 'not limited to being jumped or stepped on by a goat, being urinated or defecated on, being bitten or kicked'. It also pointed out that participation could result in 'scraped skin, abnormal blood pressure, fainting, heartbeat disorders, physically injury and potentially heart attack..... muscle, back, neck or bone injuries'. Yeyyy!! To be honest the biggest risk was the 'defecation'. These things go to the loo, a lot!
And now for the improv. We were told the goats (Floyd and Roscoe) were very excited as they hadn't improvised before. I don't want to be mean..... but it showed. It should probably have been obvious beforehand. As my friend Gill pointed out, 'If they are so good at acting why isn't there a famous goat?'
The first thing we had to do was talk for the goat. Julie and I picked a goat each and we had to follow them around and speak their thoughts. We were the first two to be given food for them. You can imagine! Julie was calmly feeding Roscoe (or was it Floyd?) out of her hand, and I was having hysterics and a hot flush while my goat jumped all over me to get the food. I ended up throwing the food on the floor which made it much easier. One man (the only man in fact) clearly thought this was hilarious as when it was his turn he threw his food at me to encourage more goat hysteria.
Next up was 'Goat Confessions'. We had to confess our sins to the goats. This was easier for me. I was very brave and confessed to Roscoe and Floyd that I don't really like animals or goats and I'm never really sure what to do with them. This is a big thing to admit in LA, but the goats didn't seem to mind. I also said that I hoped by the end of the class I would have learned to love animals more. That wasn't true. I didn't hope for that at all.
My favourite part of the class was at the end when we got to dance with the goats to The Beatles. It turns out that goats dance pretty much the same way that they improvise, but bopping around to 'Get Back' is always going to be fun for me.
The thing is, I didn't have a terrible time. I didn't let the goats stand on my back like a lot of people did and I don't think I'll be auditioning for the role of Heidi any time soon, but by the end I think Roscoe, Floyd and I came to some sort of understanding.
