So I'm back from the Christmas break with a bang and facing the harsh reality that is LA. It's been a tough week. Actually it was just one day. The morning saw me getting dumped by my manager and the evening saw me getting called fat by a six year old. I don't think the two were related (and I was way more upset with the six year old!)
I happened to be on FaceTime with my sister when she saw a live feed of Hollywood at its most ruthless. Me - 'Ooh hang on one sec my manager is calling, it will be quick as I have a meeting with them in two hours about our plan of attack for Pilot season.' It turns out their plan of attack was a bit different to mine. 'Don't bother coming in as we've signed another British actress so we won't be renewing your contract in March, in fact we are letting you go now so you can get another manager in time for pilot season.' How nice of them. It's pilot season now. Maybe they meant in time for next year. The problem apparently wasn't me not booking jobs but them not getting me any auditions. Is it bad my first thought was I'm glad I didn't drive all the way down there and pay for parking?
Thankfully I didn't have an audience for the next terrible part of my day. It was just me and the six year old. Him (whilst laughing hysterically) - 'Are you a fat lady?' Me - 'I can't understand you while you're laughing so much.' Him - 'Are you a fat lady' Me - 'I don't know what you're saying.' Him - 'I'll write it down for you - ARE YOU FAT?' Me - 'Go and put your pjs on this minute I don't know why you're being so mean to me, I'm not you're friend any more.' Him - 'I never said you are fat, I just asked if you are.' Me - ' Go to your room!' In hindsight a better response would have been 'Only in LA!' Maybe he meant 'phat' (pretty hot and tempting apparently) and on second thoughts maybe a bit worrying from a six year old!
I told the Scot. His response? 'Oh don't worry he's six and probably just doesn't know about breasts.' Firstly he used the word breasts and secondly what on earth!!!???
So yes I'm back and it might be 20 degrees outside but part of me wishes I was still in my onesie in front of the fire eating chocolates off the tree. Although maybe that's what got me into this mess in the first place!
